Things I'll Never Know
by Suraki
Summary: YusukeKuwabara Yaoi.  How can Yusuke explain his feelings for Kuwabara when he doesn't understand them himself? WARNING: YAOI, FLUFF  Don't read if you don't like that stuff.  Rated to M because of language.  Update: COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1 The Unhappy Reunion

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho, unfortunately, does not belong to me. Those happy rights belong with Yoshiro Togashi (aka god), Studio Perriot, Funimation, and are affiliated with Shonen Jump.

Author's Note: This'll be my first posted fic about Kuwabara and Yusuke. As a couple, yes. Don't flame me. I'm an equal opportunity yaoi writer. The only things I won't write are obviously disgusting pairings, Karasu/Kurama comes to mind immediately, followed by Anyone/Toguro.

**Things I'll Never Know**

POV Yusuke

**Chapter One: The unhappy reunion**

I came to the beach by Genkai's temple fully expecting to see everyone, except Hiei of course. I knew he'd still be with Mukuro. But the person I was most hoping to see, Keiko, wasn't there.

Once Kurama spotted me, I know he saw me first, they all came running. Kuwabara, Yukina, Shizuru. Genkai and Kurama walked toward me. What I wasn't expecting was Kuwabara's tackle-hug.

"Woah there, buddy!" I said from beneath him. "Someone's happy to see me." Kuwabara stood up, blushing.

"It's just that I haven't seen you in a while. My happy feeling at seeing you took over," Kuwabara muttered.

"Whatever, dude. Where's Keiko?"

Kuwabara looked over at Yukina for a second. She turned away and started picking flowers. Kurama followed her and Shizuru stood back.

"What?" I said. "What's going on? Where's Keiko? Is she alright?"

"She's fine, Urameshi," Kuwabara said. "She's just not coming."

"Well, why the hell not?"

"She's in love, Urameshi."

"With who?"

"Someone else." He looked over at Kurama and Yukina.

"Oh. Okay."

"I'm real sorry, Urameshi. She just fell in love with her and I couldn't stop it. You know…?"

"Her who?"

"Uh… Yukina."

"What? Keiko's a LESBIAN?!!?!??" My heart thumped in my chest and shattered into a million pieces. "She's supposed to love _me_ not Yukina!" Kuwabara flinched. "Sorry, buddy. I forgot that you… um… does Yukina love her back?"

Kuwabara looked away and nodded.

"Well that's just great! Why the hell did I come back here then? If Keiko's not here, I don't need to be."

"Don't say that, Urameshi. You have plenty reason to stay here. I mean, me and Shuuichi…"

"Who's Shuuichi? Oh, right, Kurama. I forgot he had two names. DAMNIT! How could I have missed it? I was planning on moving in with her. My MOTHER doesn't want a demon living with her."

"You can stay with me."

To my complete horror, I started crying. "You're a great friend."

"Actually it was Shizuru's idea."

"How did she-?"

"She talked to your mom."

I started sobbing and Kuwabara held me. "It'll be okay, Urameshi. It'll be fine."

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	2. Chapter 2  Only a Little Pain

Disclaimer: It's still not mine, for full disclaimer, see Chapter one.

POV Kuwabara

**Chapter Two Only a Little Pain**

"So this place is home?" Urameshi asked with a glance around my bachelor's pad. It was clean. Too clean, actually. I hated it when my house was so clean. It felt impersonal but my landlady wouldn't let me paint or decorate. So basically, everything was white except for a few plants I got from Kurama and the purple throw pillows. There was also a wooden coffee table in front of the white couch and a TV sat on a crate in front of that. "Needs a little color, doesn't it?" Urameshi said.

"My thoughts exactly. You can crash on the couch until I can get another bed. I have two rooms but only one bed."

"You live alone? What do you do about rent?"

"I have two jobs and I go to school."

"Really? What school do you go to?"

"Kurama's."

"I thought that was a school for smart people."

"You don't think I'm a smart person?"

"That hasn't been my experience. I guess I'm wrong though."

"Are you going back to school?"

"I don't think I'm cut out for it, besides, I don't need to."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm very wealthy in the Makai. I have some of my riches in Japanese currency with me. I'll pay half your rent."

"Why didn't you just go look for a place to live?"

"I can't stand living by myself. Bad memories from childhood, you know."

"No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

"My mom used to leave me alone all the time. It freaks me out, okay? And then the whole thing with the stuff… Not wanting a demon son. I hate my mother."

"Maybe she'll come around?"

"I doubt it." He sighed. "She was pretty freaked out."

"I don't know what to say Urameshi. You can stay here as long as you want."

"Thanks pal."

"Don't mention it."

Urameshi flopped back on the couch, looking sad. I wished there was something I could do but I couldn't think of anything. I was just as lost as he was.

Poor Urameshi.

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	3. Chapter 3 Lost

Hey all! Suraki here! The next chapter is a bit long; I hope that doesn't bug anyone. This story is unfolding slowly. I'm not sure where the plot is going quite yet so… be patient with me.

Disclaimer: Must I remind you all that the characters, main story-line…. And everything belongs to someone else? Look at chapter one for the full disclaimer.

**Chapter Three: Lost**

POV: Yusuke

"Unfamiliar ceiling," I muttered looking up from the couch in Kuwabara's living room. I'd heard that in some anime before. Evangelion or something. It was dark and I didn't know what time it was. I remembered, vaguely, collapsing in a miserable heap there on the couch. What I didn't remember was putting a pillow under my head and draping a blanket over myself. Then the rest of it came flooding back like a tidal wave.

_Keiko loves someone else,_ I thought. "Damn it." A giant cat lay at my feet, purring softly. _Is that the same cat I rescued for Kuwabara from that demon all those years ago? It must be over a hundred in cat years. Wait, is there such thing as cat years? I'll have to ask Kuwabara._ I sighed and closed my eyes, wishing for sleep but it wouldn't come.

I got off the couch and wondered through the house. I found Kuwabara's room pretty fast. He was sleeping sprawled out like some kind of… weird… something, on top of the sheets and blankets. And he was wearing those ridiculous striped boxers. _Wait, have I seen those before? _ I squinted at him in the dark. _Wait a second, this is creepy. I'm watching the dude sleep._

I snuck out as quietly as I could, thanking all the gods in where ever that he didn't wake up while I was in there. I didn't know why I felt suddenly ashamed. No embarrassed. Then my stupid face turned red. I was glad Kuwabara was asleep for the second time.

"Well, Yusuke," I said to myself. "You're officially an idiot."

I walked back through the house to the kitchen and stared at the clock. 6:21 am. What time did school start? Was it even a school day? _That whole Keiko thing screwed me up in the head._ Or maybe it wasn't that. Maybe it was the whole Makai thing? _Betraying my friends. Kurama's hurt look. He thought I didn't see but I did. He was mad at me and Hiei too. Kuwabara actually punched me. I think he was hurt the most. He was the most betrayed by me leaving. It was so soon after I died that I left and I heard every word of his crying confession. This guy loves me. _

_Loves me? Shit. I really AM crazy. But what was he babbling about us meant to be together? I can't believe I haven't thought about this before. He all but professed his undying love for me and I stood there and let myself get killed. While he was telling me that I was supposed to be there for him and then I wasn't. I let him down. I let them all down. But I let him down the most because he cares about me so much. Maybe more than Keiko. _ I punched the counter. Not hard enough to dent the wood._ Of course he cares more than Keiko. If Keiko cared about me at all she wouldn't have fallen in love with Yukina while I was gone. The least she could have done was show up. I know Kurama knew I was coming back that day. I told him. I told Keiko too. My eighteenth birthday. I made my way back the way I said I would and it was Kuwabara waiting for me to give me a hug and welcome me back. So, no, Yusuke, don't doubt who cares most. It was always Kuwabara._

_You're such an idiot._

"If you stare at that counter too long it'll burst into flames," Kuwabara's voice said from behind me. I jumped about a foot in the air and nearly said 'speak of the devil' but I had at least one atom in my brain telling me that wasn't a good idea. _Are brains made of atoms? Isn't everything made of atoms? What's the word I want? Hold on. I'm talking to Kuwabara, remember?_

I turned to Kuwabara and got a good look at him for the first time. He got cute while I was away. _Goddamnit Yusuke, get a freaking hold on yourself and say good morning. _"Good morning," I said. Or really squeeked because my voice didn't want to work for me. _Crimany, I'm all tongue tied because I thought Kuwabara and cute in the same sentence._

"Why are you leering at me like that?" he said, practically dragging me out of my thoughts.

"Lost in thought, I guess." Then I laughed nervously like a girl who didn't know how to flirt. _Shut up, brain!_ "Is today a school day?"

"No. It's Saturday. Are you all right? You look like you just ate something real spicy. Your face is all red."

_Damn it, I didn't even notice I was blushing. _"Yeah. Um… good morning?" _Open mouth, insert foot. Or even better; open oven, insert head. Stupid stupid stupid!_

"Okay…" he said that like I was nuts, which after that random string of thoughts about Kuwabara was highly likely. "Are you hungry? Is that why you're in my kitchen at three o' clock in the morning banging on counters?"

"The clock says…" I looked back at it; 6:21. And blinking. I knew it had been at least ten minutes so I laughed nervously again. "I'm sorry, Kuwabara. I just had a bad dream or something and I woke up and this unfamiliar ceiling was over my head and I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore." _Kill me now!_ "When's sleeping?" _Shit, now I'm incoherent._ "I mean, when did I fall asleep?"

"Four PM. Are you sure you're okay?"

"You know what? I'm not sure of much of anything anymore so why don't you tell me why you kissed me- missed me so much." _Goddamnit, now I know I'm blushing._

"You're my best friend. I miss anyone I care about who goes away for a long time. You should have seen me when Shizuru went on a business trip. I freaked out every day. I'm like you. I don't like being left alone. Which was why Shizuru suggested this in the first place. She had to move because she's getting married and mom and dad still haven't come back from wherever they went the last time… Wait a second. Did you just say 'kissed me?'"

"I had a nightmare. I'm not right in the head."

"What was your nightmare about? Kissing attacks?" Kuwabara laughed.

"Yeah. Shut up." _I'm such a crappy liar. I bet he saw right through that nightmare act. He knows something's up. I can tell. Goddamnit, why didn't he put a shirt on before he came out here? It's freaking distracting._

Kuwabara stopped laughing and squinted at me. "You didn't _have_ a nightmare, did you?" A statement, not a question.

"No."

"Why would you lie about something dumb like that?"

"To explain why the hell I'm up at this ungodly hour when I can't even explain it to myself."

"Go sleep in my bed. You'll probably sleep better." I must have looked horrified, or possibly embarrassed again because he said. "By yourself! I'll sleep on the couch. Jeeze, Urameshi, your homophobia is rampant."

"I'm not homophobic!"

"Then you're gay. I don't care. Go to bed."

I looked at him stunned for a minute. Had he just called me gay? _Deal with it dumb shit._ I walked out and wandered back to Kuwabara's room. He was right, I did sleep better.

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	4. Chapter 4 Tango

Disclaimer: Good news! No, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho (not for lack of trying). It is owned by a long list of people which you can find in earlier chapters. If you haven't read them, shame on you for looking ahead!

**Chapter Four Tango**

POV: Kuwabara

Urameshi acted funny when he woke up the next morning. After shouting, "Ah! Where the hell AM I?" at seven, he wandered out to the living room where I was sitting on the couch reading the paper and stared at me dumbfounded. "Was that a dream?"

"Was what a dream?" I asked.

Urameshi turned red, something he came back. "Do you own a purple wig?"

"Jeeze, Urameshi! Did you get drunk before you came home?"

"I'm not a morning person."

"I don't own a purple wig and I think we should leave it at that. It was a dream. Whatever IT was."

Urameshi does this thing where he stares at people when he's embarrassed. He was doing that to me now. "Most people look away when they do something stupid. You must be some kind of masochist." Urameshi turned even redder. "Oh my god, Urameshi, get some caffeine in your system before you say something I REALLY don't want to hear."

Urameshi wandered into the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later with a huge cup of coffee, which he chugged. "I'm gonna do us both a favor and pretend none of that just happened."

"Okay," Urameshi said.

"No… Wait… I can't pretend that didn't happen. It was too weird. _Are_ you gay, Urameshi?"

"Are _you_?"

"Fair enough. You don't have to answer that."

"No, you deserve all the facts. The truth is… I'm… bisexual." He looked away as if he was scared I'd punch him.

"Do you know what 'over compensation' means?"

"Uh… I think so."

"You might be bi, but I'm not."

"That's okay, I never said I wanted-"

"I'm totally gay."

"Really? No shit?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, I just thought… because of Yukina and Botan… mostly Yukina…"

"It first started at Maze Castle. It was lust at first sight."

"With who?"

"Hiei."

"Wait, you had the hots for Hiei?" Urameshi started laughing. "I thought you hated him."

"I pretended to hate him 'cause I didn't want him to know I was crushing on him."

"The kindergartener approach."

"Exactly. Anyway, he only noticed me when I was calling him 'hamster legs,' or 'shrimp.' You know, 'cause he's completely infatuated with Kurama. Unfortunately for him, Kurama was in love with you. Still might be, as a matter of fact. I don't know."

"How do you know that?"

"Hiei loving Kurama was obvious. Yukina even knows that. Kurama was harder to read. I knew he was gay the second I saw him but I had to watch him closely to figure out who he liked. Then I realized he was in love. Completely and utterly in love. With you."

"I wish he'd have said something. I think he's hot."

I felt a flare of jealousy. "He's not your type."

"How do you know what I like in men?"

"You don't want to get involved with Kurama. If Hiei ever came back and found out, he'd slaughter ya. Forget you're an S Class demon, he'll kill you dead."

"But I think Hiei is in love with Mukuro. He let her hug him. I don't think he'd ever let anyone do that."

"Mukuro?"

"One of the kings of the Makai. Queen, actually. Which is weird if he's gay."

"Hiei isn't gay. He's like you."

"Do you still like him?"

"As a friend. I don't think he's so hot anymore." _I can't believe I'm telling him this._ _I must be crazy. It's obvious he doesn't find me attractive. And why should he? It's like Shishiwakamaru said, I have an inferior face._

Urameshi set down his cup. "That's good," he said. "I mean, because I think Hiei really hates you."

"Yeah. He probably does. I was so mean to him. I wish I could apologize."

Urameshi sat down next to me and rested his hand on my knee. Every cell in my body went on red alert. Urameshi didn't ever touch me like that before. "Maybe he'll come back. I mean, he's got to tell Yukina who he is."

"Huh?" _Hasn't she met him?_

"Never mind."

"No, tell me."

"Well, I guess it won't do any harm now. Yukina is his sister. Yeah, Hiei is the long lost brother she's been looking for."

"How ironic."

"I know." Urameshi slid closer and inched his hand up a bit. "You got cute while I was away." He bit his lip.

"Are you coming on to me?"

"I wish."

"Uhh…" _Oh crap. Well, idiot, you walked right into that one._ "Okay."

"Now look who's red. Unh." He moaned.

"Stop that!"

He moved his hand away from my leg and placed it over my heart. "You're lucky to have a heart that beats." The seduction was over. He was only messing around. Now he was acting vulnerable.

"Before you do anything, you should know something," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm in love with you. I have been ever since we met. I don't want to get hurt with your little games. If you like me, just say so."

"So. I'm not trying to hurt you. I don't want that. You should know better. I love you too, in a way."

"In what way?"

"The friend kind."

"That's not how I feel."

"Yeah, but I'm also attracted to you. I have romantic feelings that I wouldn't want to rush into calling 'in love' yet. I realized last night… this morning at three before you woke up that you were the one who cared about me the most. You were most hurt by me leaving. Keiko was being a bitch and not showing up but you were there, ready to leap into my arms. Granted, I never expected it to happen this way but I'd rather have you then Keiko anyway."

"You would?" _Please don't be playing games. You don't know how much it means to me._

"Yeah, Keiko may have been my childhood sweetheart but I'm all grown up now. And you…" That's when it hit me. This was no act.

I touched his face, feeling his smooth skin beneath my fingertips. He leaned in closer and laid his hand delicately on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a moment, just looking at each other with an odd intensity before Urameshi spoke. "I hate to ruin the moment, but were you going to kiss me?"

"Yeah, but I chickened out."

"Don't worry. I'll be waiting when you're ready." He leaned in closer. "Don't make me wait too long," he whispered.

"I don't intend to make you wait at all," I whispered back. "I just want you to call the shots."

"All right. I'll do that then." He kissed me tenderly. It was everything I had ever imagined. Ever dreamed about. My first kiss with a guy who not only did I love but who was amazingly hot to boot.

He snaked his arms around me pulling me closer. "You can bury me in sweet kisses all you want, itoshi."

"Sweetheart? That's a little lame," Urameshi said. "How about Nushi?"

"No way am I calling you 'master'."

"Doofus, it means 'lover.'"

"It also means 'master.'"

"Fine, aijin. You can call me itoshi if you want."

"I'm not your lover yet."

"You will be eventually."

"I sure hope so."

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	5. Chapter 5 Idiot

Disclaimer: It's not mine and all that legal stuff I have to say before I can write this chapter.

By the way, the story isn't going in an angsty direction. I'm glad for that too because I'm sick and tired of writing angst. Unfortunately, that means this is going to be fluffy. Very gooey and fluffy. I'm warning you all now. Don't read if it'll make you hurl.

Maybe I'll sneak in sexy too…

**Chapter Five Idiot  
**

POV: Yusuke

"Okay, Urameshi, tell me about this purple wig dream you had a couple nights ago," Kuwabara said.

"Purple wig?" I said, trying to pretend it didn't ring a bell. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You suck at lying, Urameshi. I can see right through that. Should I invest in a purple wig?"

"Shut up!" I buried my face in my hands. We were sitting on the couch together on Kuwabara's one day off, Saturday. "No. I didn't like the purple wig. It was freaky."

"Tell me about this dream."

"It was bad, real bad."

"Tell me."

"All I'm gonna say is, you'd make one hell of an ugly transvestite."

He tackled me and tickled me into submission. "Stop! Stop! Stop! Unfair use of hands! I demand a penalty!"

Kuwabara looked down at me. Yeah, he was on top of me looking down. I couldn't have been more aware of that. "Unfair use of hands? I'll show you unfair use of hands."

He started kissing my neck. "Those are your li- ah ahhh!" Okay, _those_ were his hands. He was currently fondling my chest. And I liked it a bit too much, if you catch my drift. "Hey!" One of his hands had slid below my belt.

"That was fast."

"Don't make fun. I'm really nervous. Please stop."

"You don't want to?" He sat up and slid off me.

"Not yet," I said. "I'm not ready."

Kuwabara sighed. "Good, 'cause I'm not sure I am either. We've only been together for a week. We should wait at least three."

"The three week rule? Isn't that a little girly?"

"Do you want me to call you nushi or not?"

"I want you to call me whatever you want to call me. What does that have to do with… Oh. Yeah, sorry. You're not at all girly." I flexed my muscles. "You're a manly man. Man."

"All set?"

"All set." That was my que for letting him know I didn't need a cold shower. Yet.

"You should come up with a safety word."

"Safety word?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Yeah, instead of saying 'stop' or 'don't' you say your safety word."

"Oh. Like a buzz word."

"Exactly."

"Okay, um… let me think. How about… Keiko."

Kuwabara gave me a dirty look. "If you say her name in bed, I'll kick you out."

"Relax, dude, it was a joke. Hmm… that's a tuffy. Bubbles."

"That's your safety word?"

"Yep. What's yours?"

"Cinnamon."

"You had it all picked out?"

"I had a lot of time to think while you were being a jack ass."

"Whoa, wait. The Keiko thing was a joke."

"I know. It just wasn't funny."

"I'm sorry. Does it make you feel jealous?"

"No. Just angry because of what she did to you."

"What can I do to cheer you up?"

"Tell me about the purple wig."

"I'm taking that one to my grave." _I am such a doofus sometimes I wish I could get out of my skin and slap myself. Wait, that doesn't make sense._

"Urameshi."

"What?"

"You're staring off into space."

"Oh… Um… good morning?"

Kuwabara started laughing then put me in a head lock. "I'll make you tell me. Eventually."

Okay, the truth was, the purple wig thing was a joke. I just didn't know how to tell Kuwabara. The dream was a little more complicated then a purple wig alone. It was weird and spooky and Kurama was in it. Best not to tell Kuwabara that 'cause he already had a freak out when I said Kurama was hot. Although, Kurama's role in it was, in a sense, just to be there. But he was watching Kuwabara do stuff to me. I shivered at the thought.

"You okay?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He let me go and stood up. "Well, I have to go to work in an hour."

"Wait, this is your day off."

"I have to put in some extra hours. I need the money."

"You don't have to work at all. I have enough money for ten houses and to pay all the bills for seven hundred years. I could even get us cable. Quit your job."

"And rely on you for all my expenses? In case you haven't already heard. I have an Honor Code. That means, I pay for dates, I pay the bills, I pay for everything."

"Why?"

"The man always pays."

"Yeah, but I'm a man too."

"I'd rather not discuss this. I'll see you after work, itoshi." Kuwabara gave me a kiss and left.

I'm an idiot.

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	6. Chapter 6 Starbucks and Kissy face

Disclaimer: Not mine.

This story is taking a turn for the random.

Thank you to CheshireJin for sticking with the story and writing a review every time I update!

**Chapter six: Starbucks and Kissy-Face**

POV: Kuwabara

"You're not normal, Urameshi," I said to the man across the table from me. He had straws up his nose and was making honking noises.

"If I were normal, you wouldn't like me," Urameshi said.

"If you were normal, it would save me a lot of trouble."

"If _you_ were normal, I wouldn't feel so bad because you'd let me pay for my own drink. We're at Starbucks for chrissakes. The coffee here is like six dollars."

"Take the straws out of your nose."

He did as I asked. Thank god.

"Am I embarrassing you?" Urameshi gave me his rare vulnerable look which meant I couldn't be mean to him for a little while.

"No, of course not. I just think you're cuter without the straws."

Urameshi made a kissy-face at me, and then suddenly his face turned stony. I looked in the direction he was looking and saw two high school girls pointing at him and giggling. Luckily they weren't from my school. Rumors travel fast at my school. There was already a bunch about Kurama because he was so attractive and didn't have a girlfriend. I suppose I was lucky there 'cause I was so ugly but Kurama got hassled every day about being gay. The thing was, he wasn't even _out_ at school. People just knew. Or they didn't really know, they thought he was and they were right.

I hate people sometimes.

"Let's go, Urameshi."

"Yeah, suddenly the fun has been sucked out of this trip."

We walked out of the Starbucks and down the street to the train-station. I paid for Urameshi and me and we stood together by a window, holding the same pole.

I looked at the side of Urameshi's face and suddenly wanted to touch him. To kiss him. I hadn't gotten to kiss him in a while 'cause he was always getting too intense and telling me to stop. I decided to cool it for a while so he could get his head on right. Something was off about him. About the relationship but I didn't want to admit there was a problem already. We'd only been dating for a month but we'd been living together the whole time.

"You wanna say something?" Urameshi asked.

"No. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

/Us/ I said telepathically. Urameshi raised his eyebrows. He can't communicate telepathically. He doesn't have high enough spirit awareness. /I was just thinking that I wanted to kiss you/

Urameshi looked around at the empty train and blinked at me. Then he looked passed me at someone behind my back. "Where did you come from?" he asked.

I turned around and saw Hiei. Right, where did he come from?

"You two are disgusting," Hiei said.

"Huh?" I said.

"You should use closed-circuit telepathy when you're in public, you giant fool," Hiei said.

"Closed-circuit?" I said.

"Yes, I heard what you told him and frankly, I'm unimpressed by your subtlety."

"It wasn't meant to be subtle, it was meant to be silent."

"It wasn't that either."

"What do you want, Shrimp?" I was losing my patience.

"I came to kill Yusuke," he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"You _still_ want to kill me?" Urameshi said. "Isn't this a little stupid now?"

"No. I don't _still_ want to kill you. I want to kill you _again._"

"Okay, what did I do?"

"You stole Kurama's heart."

"That's ridiculous and why do you even care?"

"Because his heart belongs to me."

"I didn't steal his heart on purpose; you go ahead and tell him to take it back. _My_ heart belongs to someone else."

My heart skipped a beat.

"Baka, it doesn't work that way."

"If he loves me, wouldn't killing me… you know… make him mad at you?"

"I intend to find out." Hiei drew his sword quicker than a flash but I had mine blocking his blow before Urameshi even knew he almost died. I pushed Hiei back.

He started laughing.

"You're crazy," I said. "Out of your mind, barking howling mad."

"You win," Hiei said to me. "I was testing you."

"Testing?"

"To see if you actually loved him or not."

"Again, why do you care?"

"I can't let my friend lose his heart to a lowly human if the human doesn't care about him. Oh, and if you tell Kurama I ever said anything to you, I'll kill you both."

And with that, Hiei was gone. "That was so out of character," Yusuke said. "He must have gone nuts from being with Mukuro."

"Doesn't matter. Thank god, he didn't want to kill you for real."

"You don't know Hiei very well do you?"

"I know him as well as I want to, maybe a little more."

"Okay, you big lug, about that kiss…"

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	7. Chapter 7 In Our Hearts

_**Okay, so here we are at the end of the story. I hope I didn't leave anyone feeling dissatisfied. Enjoy and review.**_

**Chapter Seven In Our Hearts.  
**

POV: Yusuke

Throwing up has got to be my least favorite activity on the planet. I guess it's easier if your expecting it because you're sick or just ate something gross or are on an airplane heading through a particularly nasty patch of turbulence… but not when you're making out with your boyfriend. Luckily, I turned away so I wouldn't puke in his mouth but I got sick all over the carpet.

"Urameshi," Kuwabara said, "what's wrong?"

"Must be something I a-" At that moment, I knew barfing was imminent so I ran to the bathroom and urped in the toilet.

Kuwabara was right behind me. He rubbed my back until my stomach was empty. "We gotta take you to the hospital," he said.

"No, I'm fine," I said. And I was, more or less. Except for the sharp, stabbing pains in my stomach everything was peachy.

"That's bull, Urameshi. You just barfed your body-weight and I think some of it was blood. I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Kuwa-" He picked me up by my armpits and dragged me to his new car. "Okay, okay!" I said. "I'll go willingly but let me clean the carpet first."

"It's fine, I'll call my landlady from the hospital."

"Won't she raise your rent?"

"That's what a security deposit is for. Buckle up."

He hit the gas and we hightailed it to the ER. The guy at the front came up to the door and offered me a wheelchair. "Nothing wrong with my legs," I said, stepping out. He took the keys from Kuwabara and went to park. Kuwabara led me to the front desk like I was a little kid. He talked to the lady in registration then a nurse came with a wheelchair and said she would take me to triage.

"I can walk," I said.

The nurse smiled. "Hospital policy," he said, tapping the chair. I sat down and he wheeled me to a little triage room where I sat on the bed behind a screen waiting to see the doctor so I could get a real room.

That's when I started coughing up blood and they got me to the doctor right quick. Kuwabara was silent but he kept sending me telepathic messages of strength and love without using words. It calmed me down some.

"Hello, Urameshi-san," said the doctor. "I am Dr. Kioboto. What seems to be the problem?

"I seem to be coughing up blood and my friend thinks that's a problem," I said, pointing at Kuwabara.

"Any blood in your stool?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Your poop, Urameshi," Kuwabara said.

"I haven't checked."

"Nausea?"

"Yeah, I puked up a bunch before Kazuma took me here."

"Heartburn?

"No but the puke burned coming up."

"Any history of anemia?"

"No."

"Heart disease?"

"No."

"Cancer?"

"No."

"How about in your immediate family, any health problems?"

"No."

"Okay, I think I know what's going on, but I have to do some tests."

I felt my face turn white. "Are you gonna draw blood?"

"Yes."

I started shaking and my stomach hurt worse. Kuwabara put a hand on my shoulder and told me to lie down. "Can you give us a minute?" He asked the doctor. The doctor nodded and left. "Let me guess; needle phobia?"

"Yeah, I hate needles."

"Do you realize how irrational that is?"

"Why?"

"You've had your face rearranged more times then I can count. You've been beaten to a bloody pulp, literally. You've had nearly every bone in your body broken and you're telling me you're scared to get poked by a needle?"

"Sharp and pointy and … ness…"

"So is Hiei's sword."

"Yeah, but I can dodge that, I have to _let_ them stick a freaking big ass needle into my arm. Gods, I hate doctors."

"It's no big deal."

"Then let them take YOUR blood."

"I'm not the one who's sick."

"I don't like it, okay? There's not a lot that I'm weird about but needles is one of them."

"Just relax and it'll be over before you know it."

I closed my eyes tight and felt Kuwabara hug me. "You don't have to look at the needle," he said. "Just look at me and picture the purple wig."

I started laughing which made me cough up more blood. "Okay," I said. "No laughing." I laid back against the pillow.

Then in walked the vampire. "Which arm," the vampire asked.

"Neither," I said.

"Don't be a smart ass," she said. "Just let me do my job."

I held out my left arm and she pulled a tourniquet around it. "Make a tight fist."

I followed the orders from the undead psycho-nurse and stared at Kuwabara with a 'help me' look but he just smiled.

/Just let her take your blood/ he said telepathically. /You have plenty/

"Little poke," she said.

I focused on Kuwabara and tried to ignore the poke in the crook of my arm. /You're doing great, Urameshi/ I rolled my eyes at him.

The vampire put some gauze over the puncture and walked out.

"See," Kuwabara said. "Not so bad."

"How much blood did she take?"

"Less then you've had punched out of you by me."

"So none."

Kuwabara smiled. I was suddenly struck by how strong he looked how… beautiful. I didn't know if I was supposed to say it and didn't get a chance because a social worker cam in to talk to me. She asked Kuwabara to leave. "Oh no," I said. "He stays."

"I have to ask questions of a sensitive nature and I'm not sure your friend needs to hear your answers."

"There's nothing I have to hide from him."

"Hospital policy."

I was beginning to hate that term.

Kuwabara sighed and exited. The social worker started in on me immediately. "Where do you live?"

"Seven miles east of the Mushirori border."

"Who do you live with?"

"Him." I pointed out the door.

"How would you describe your relationship with him?"

"Fantastic."

"Sarcasm isn't necessary."

"I wasn't being sarcastic. We're really close."

"Is he your friend? Your partner? Lover?"

"Boyfriend." I told her.

"Has he ever touched you when you didn't want to be touched?" she asked.

"No…"

"Does he ever get angry with you?"

"Yeah… doesn't everyone get angry?"

"Has he ever lashed out at you violently?"

I froze. "No."

"You need to be honest with me."

"Once, a long time ago. But it was after I told him something really upsetting."

"Like what?"

"That I was going away for a while and maybe I wasn't gonna come back."

"Why were you leaving? Were you trying to escape from abuse?"

"Listen lady, it's not like that. He isn't abusing me. I think it's crazy to even suggest that. The big lug loves me a lot. He wouldn't hurt me out of anger."

"But he did."

"Once a long time ago."

"And he hasn't since?"

"No! Not at all."

"I'm going to give you the number of a domestic abuse counseling service. If things get violent, I want you to call them. Another question, has he ever pressured you for sex?"

"NO! We're both virgins!"

"How long have you known each other?"

"Six years."

"How did you meet?"

"I used to beat _him_ up all the time. I was the neighborhood bully."

"You are never afraid he might seek revenge?"

"He LOVES me."

"That's what all my battered wives say."

"Why are you asking about him?"

"It's just information to help us find out what's wrong."

"I haven't been abused."

"Thank you for your time."

"You're not welcome."

She smiled as if she got that response a million times then left. Kuwabara came back a few minutes later with coffee. "No thanks," I said.

"What was that all about? The energy coming from you is all prickly."

"She wanted to know if you were beating me."

"Stupid. I hate this place."

"Yeah, it got me all weirded out." Kuwabara walked over to me and draped an arm over my shoulders. The doctor came back but Kuwabara didn't move from my side. That made me feel a lot better.

"Okay, Urameshi-san," she said. "We need an MRI of your stomach so you're going to have to drink contrast."

"Contrast?" I said.

"It's dye that helps us see your stomach. The nurse will bring it in a few minutes. You have to drink all of it without vomiting."

"Great, sound's like fun. I think I'll order two."

"Actually, you have to drink two because we mix it with lemonade so it goes down easier. It doesn't taste very good."

Understatement of the CENTURY! It was like drinking lead flavored jello and it was mushy and… ulg. But I drank both giant glasses of it and they wheeled me to MRI.

The tests all came back and the doctor came in looking unreadable. "I have good news and I have bad news," she said. "The good news is, this won't kill you. The bad news is you have to takes some medicine. You have ulcers brought on by stress." The doctor handed me a prescription and a list of instructions and sent me home.

"Well, that was a waste of a Saturday," I said, flopping back onto Kuwabara's bed.

"It wasn't wasted. You have a serious problem," Kuwabara said. He sat down beside me and started stroking my hair. "What are you stressed about?"

"I haven't exactly been forthcoming with you," I said before I lost my nerve. Kuwabara hesitated but only for a second then continued stroking my head. "you see, I'm gonna live for a very _very_ long time and you're human so you're not."

Kuwabara looked sad. "I already know that Urameshi, what's wrong?"

"I'm gonna live all those years without _you_."

"My Yusuke… You shouldn't worry about that. We'll jump that hurdle when we come to it."

"But… I wanna die first… cause I can't live without you!" I started crying.

Kuwabara kissed my tears away but more kept falling. "You haven't even said 'I love you' to me yet," Kuwabara said.

"I do, I love you a lot!" I started sobbing. "I just c-cant' stand the thought of l-losing you!"

"You can't lose what's in your heart. In the end, that's all any of us has."

"Easy for you to say; you'll die in eight decades and I'll still be alive for sixty more. It's going to be long and lonely."

"Maybe I'll be reincarnated as a demon when I die and you'll find me and… you know… Live happily ever after."

"Yeah, but I'd have to lose you to begin with."

"You can't lose what's in your heart," he repeated. "I never lost you all those years you were away."

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Lie down next to me." He did and I curled up against him and suddenly I knew he was right; I'd never lose him. There may be some things I'll never know, but one thing I know for sure is, I'll always have Kuwabara.

_**Owari!!!!**_

_**Okay so now that it's over, I'd like to thank everyone who stuck with the story, CheshireJin especially! Yukina's Kitty, you too! Love ya, leave a review!**_


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